[It's been awhile since their last encounter, but it had taken him a short while to piece together who 'Fidona' might have been— having met the young woman on two separate occasions in two separate forms had made doing so just a touch questionable, but thankfully, her hair had made her easy enough to place.]
[Yes, Lizzie remembers him. Both from the party and from his memory. She's been thinking about him a lot, but has held off on reaching out to him. What she saw was deeply personal, and it's not fair to make him talk about it before he's ready.
Clearly, he's ready now.]
i do. and i'm fidona kisne.
[It's weird to see her Forest Name written out like that. She's not sure how she feels about it.
(Her dropping the Archadian "vas" may come off as pointed, but really it's just that she's forgotten about it. It's simply not how names work where she's from.]
if you're free, my roommates are both out. we can talk in private.
i'll send the address and put on some water for tea.
[And Lizzie does exactly that, also taking the time to straighten up a bit. The treehouse is far from untidy--she just needs something to do with the nervous energy that's building while she waits for him to arrive. It's going to be an awkward conversation for both of them. A necessary one, but that fact doesn't make it any more comfortable.
When Balthier arrives, Lizzie calls him in. She's sitting at the table with her paissa familiar flopped over asleep at her feet. She can only figure it's trying to comfort her with what few brain cells it possesses, even if it's now in the way, so she leaves it be. Every now and again, it lets out a soft snore.]
[That appears to be that; he says nothing further by text, but quickly makes note of the address given to him and proceeds to make his way there. What he hopes to gain from this conversation, he's not entirely sure, but a part of him that he did his best not to share with anyone had been laid bare against his will— and, he's willing to bet, she hadn't wanted her given name to be public knowledge, either.
It seems only right that they clear the air and reach some kind of understanding.
When he arrives, it's with his rabbit-eared moogle familiar bouncing along behind him, standing on tip-toes every few steps to try and get a better look at her surroundings, wide-eyed and excited to be somewhere new. He gives her a fond smile before leaning down to gently drop his hand against the top of her head.]
Now, Lu, don't get too carried away and start touching things. We're guests.
[She nods eagerly in response, then quickly finds herself distracted as she examines the sleeping paissa from where she stands. Meanwhile, with Lizzie already seated, Balthier takes the seat opposite her, bowing his head by way of a greeting as he settles in.]
It would seem that regardless of whether we meant to, the two of us have found ourselves sharing secrets.
[The paissa on the floor continues to sleep, unaware of his new audience. And most things, really.
Lizzie smiles in response to Balthier's greeting, although it's more wry than anything else. She isn't sure what it is Balthier is looking for, even if she expected him to reach out to her, but she at least has an idea of what she wants to cover in this conversation.]
In a very uneven manner, yes. All you know of me is my Forest Name.
[The kettle whistles, so Lizzie gets up from the table to prepare their tea.]
The way I see things, it's only fair that I share the rest of it. So ask away: what is it you'd like to know about me?
[Well, she gets right down to business, doesn't she?]
As much as I appreciate the 'eye for an eye' approach, I would not have you share anything that you're not willing to otherwise.
[That said, he is curious.]
Should anything prove too personal, by all means, say so. Still, I do find myself wondering— what lead you to leave the forest? It is uncommon for Viera to do so in Ivalice as I know it, but certainly not unheard of. My partner is one such Viera, and as such, I know full well the weight of such a decision.
[Fran can never go back. Is it the same for the Viera of Lizzie's time?]
[Lizzie's quiet for a few moments as she prepares tea for the two of them. When she returns to the table, steaming mugs in hand, it's with a small, appreciative smile.]
I promise not to get into anything too harrowing, then.
[It's a joke, mostly. Her history is fraught, certainly, but there's nothing that's entirely off-limits. It's also weirdly comforting to hear that he gets it, even if only by proxy. It saves her from having to explain the stakes involved in the decisions she's made.]
Before I answer your question, let me clear up a misunderstanding between us. My trip to Archades made clear that despite the similarities, we do not hail from the same star. I have no idea whether the fact that Ivalice exists in both places is a coincidence or some sort of divine...something, but they are not the same place. My star is a world called Hydaelyn.
[She pauses here, taking a moment to fuss with her tea and add a bit of sugar and cream to it.]
That said, Viera leaving the Wood on my star is also not common or done lightly. I left because I was angry, and that anger lost me my family and my people. I don't regret it, and I'm lucky that I found a new family in the company I keep these days, but... there are times where it still stings, a decade later. I suspect your Viera partner probably feels similarly.
[Lizzie realizes she hasn't quite answered his question yet, but she's getting there. Just because it's not off-limits doesn't mean is especially easy, either.]
[While she hasn't directly answered his question as such, the information she offers is quite interesting, and he makes a soft noise of assent as he nods his understanding.]
I've spoken to a few others from Eorzea and had started to suspect as much— though the number of parallels between the two is quite uncanny.
[Curiouser and curiouser.]
Indeed, it was similar for Fran— continues to be, in fact, even half a century after her departure.
[She had left the forest behind before he was even born, and yet her sister still scorned him as though he had stolen her— as though Fran ever did anything that wasn't of her own choosing.]
Anger played a part, as well. There are those who find the way of the Wood to be stifling.
It's only been 10 years for me. But I'm also very young for my kind--merely thirty.
[Based on what Balthier's just said--half a century--viera as long-lived in his world as in hers.
Lizzie pauses, taking a sip of her tea before she finally gets to the actual story of why she left the Wood behind.]
I didn't realize how stifiling the Green Word was until the first time I happened upon an outsider. He was a Garlean deserter, a conscript who saw an opportunity to bolt and took it. He was hiding in the Wood, waiting for his platoon to give up the search and move on. I knew he wasn't supposed to be there, but something about the way he asked... nay, the way he begged me to let him stay swayed me.
[Her voice is uncharacteristically wistful, full of fondness and sorrow.]
He gave me his name--Siggurd--and for four days, I brought him food and listened to his stories of the world beyond the Wood. Of Garlemald, Eorzea, and Ala Mhigo. Of his family. I was transfixed.
On the fifth day, he was dead. Killed for daring to invade the sanctity of the Wood. [She says this with no small amount of disgust.] Who he was didn't matter. How much he'd suffered, how terrified he was, how all he wanted was to be free and see his wife and daughter again... it didn't matter. It's against the Green Word, and the Green Word is absolute.
I left the next day.
[Lizzie exhales slowly--she hasn't spoken of this in quite some time, and it doesn't get any easier each time she speaks of it. A decade isn't much time in a viera's life. In many ways, the wound is still fresh.]
On my star, viera who leave the Wood leave their names there. I haven't been Fidona since I left. I took on a new name when I arrived in Dalmasca, that of Siggurd's daughter, Lizbet. Lizzie.
[He listens without interruption, his focus even and unbroken. The tale is a somber one, and wouldn't have been out of place in his own Ivalice. Lizzie had already made an impression as someone whose kindness was quite genuine, rather than merely for show as it was for so many, and he wishes he were surprised to learn that the Viera of her world spurned such acts in the name of obeying the Green Word.]
I'm sure he appreciated your kindness more than even you know.
[A frightened, desperate man who wanted nothing more to survive and to get back to his family. Food and water would have meant the world on their own, but her company was also a balm, he's certain.]
An unfortunate way to have to learn about where one comes from. You chose your namesake well.
[Lizzie's quiet for a few moments after he speaks, taking his words to heart. He's probably right--she remembers how Siggurd would brighten up each day as she arrived, and how tightly he hugged her when she had to take her leave. She just tends to get so caught up in the injustice of how it ended that it's easy to forget what she had actually meant to him in the meantime.]
I just hope it was enough to make his last days happy.
[She presses her lips together tightly for a few moments to try and keep her composure, taking a deep breath and in out of her nose as she does so.]
I looked for the girl when I finally made it to his homeland, but memory of a man's memory of a young girl is a terrible way to find a grown woman. I just have to believe that whatever happened to her, she's all right.
It's a common enough story of sorrow caused by the Garlean Empire. It's why I... [She pauses, realizing that she needs to tread gently as she shifts the focus from herself to him.] It's why I find it so strange that I was a part to the Empire you know. But I guess it goes to show me that the people vary greatly within any country, even a boldly imperial one.
I'm guessing, based on who you are now, that you didn't stay. That, we have in common.
[He offers her a wry half-smile, quirked to one side, but it falters and doesn't last.]
Though I am loathe to speak in defense of the Archadian Empire, having been born into it, I can attest that not all who hail from such places are meant to be conquerors. There are people who do their best to live good lives there, as I am sure there are in your own Garlean Empire, as well, but what you saw—
[He gestures broadly with an open hand.]
That was the Archades I was most familiar with, for better or for worse.
[Largely, he feels, for worse.]
I left not long after that day. There was nothing worth staying for. I told myself I left in search of answers, but that was a falsehood, an attempt to trick myself into believing my goals had some merit. I ran, though one can never truly run far enough to escape something so persistent as the past.
A country's people are an altogether different thing than the country itself. It's hardly a defense of the Empire to say so.
[It's a good lesson, and one that Lizzie sometimes needs reminding of. The same can be said of herself, in a way--she, unlike her people, believes in a world beyond the Wood. And she's not the only one. No people are a monolith, as convenient as such thinking can be.
As for the rest of it... she doesn't like to think she ran, but it's not exactly an untrue way to describe what she did either. Perhaps the past will catch up to her, as well, despite not actively trying to conquer the world. It has her whole lifetime to.
It's not something she likes much to think about.]
I can hardly blame you for running, regardless of what you told yourself at the time. What was put upon you was nigh impossible to reconcile, especially given how young you were. Prodigy or not, you were a child.
[Sixteen is practically a baby, especially to the likes of her.]
I'll admit I'm curious as to the rest of your story, but it's not my place to ask or know. I only hope that you have, or will, be able to make peace with the past the follows you.
[The smile she gives him is largely mirthless, and filled with understanding.]
[He'd thought that perhaps he had reached an ending, that the Sky Fortress Bahamut would be his own personal epilogue, but he was grateful that had not been the case.]
I hope your path is kind to you, as well. It's not an easy one you've chosen, but having known viera who felt drawn to leave the wood, it would have been far more stifling to remain as they were. I'm sure you need no reassurance, but you chose what was right for you— you chose to honor your heart.
[He'll probably roll his eyes at himself later on when he thinks back on this, but for now, his words are certainly genuine. For all his protests otherwise, he knows a thing or two about sentimentality and being true to oneself.]
[Sometimes being earnest is worth a few eye-roll worthy statements. At the very least, in the moment Lizzie truly appreciates it.]
Not needing reassurance doesn't make it any less nice to hear. Thank you, Balthier.
My path has been difficult but worthwhile since I left. I've gathered a dear group of friends in my travels that are my family now. In the case of one of them, almost literally--his parents have sort of adopted me.
[Nevermind that she towers over both of Jojo's parents because they're lalafell. They love her as a daughter all the same.]
I can't say I'm without regrets, but I'm not unhappy with where I ended up either. If I can dare take a guess, it seems the same is true of you?
Given our respective histories, that's the best we can ask for.
[She's certainly not wrong, and a wry smile pulls at the corner of his lips as he gives a single nod of confirmation.]
Wishing I had done things differently is a waste, and had I done so, I think I might be someone else entirely— though certainly still leading man material, all the same.
[That was never negotiable, in his eyes.]
I think that for better or for worse, things have worked out as they ought. I like things as they are now— or as they were before I came here, more or less. You're right; there is little else we can hope for.
Well, naturally you would. Just of a very different story.
[Lizzie smiles, expression just as wry as his. She gets what he means on a very personal, intrinsic level. It's freeing, in a way, to have someone who understands without having it be explained. Unfortunate that it ended up being forced on his end, but perhaps he might find some solace in this as well. Chances are they'll never discuss this again, instead continuing on the unspoken agreement that each of them Gets It.
That's fine by her.
She holds up her teacup in a toast.]
Cheers to the both of us choosing who we wanted to be, for better and for worse.
[That smile of his becomes something warmer, and he cocks his head to one side as he lifts his own teacup in response, glad to chime in with that particular toast.]
Cheers. I'll drink to that.
[He offers her a wink across the table before drinking deep from his cup, setting it down a moment later to free up his hands to straighten his shirtcuffs.]
You know, I've always made such a fuss about keeping all of that hidden back home. Though this round of sharing may not have been entirely of our choosing, it is quite liberating.
At the very least, it's better to know there's someone who understands, at least a little.
[Lizzie's only told the whole story of her departure to Jojo, and he doesn't really have the sort of experience that leads one to understand what it means. Although he started integrating her into his own family soon thereafter, so maybe she just isn't giving the lalafell enough credit. Konana and Yuyuhan aren't quite her own parents, but they've become awfully close.]
If you ever require an ear, I have plenty to spare. And if you'd rather not speak of this again, that's equally agreeable. In either case, I suppose this has forced some semblance of friendship upon us.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text | un: arcturus
[It's been awhile since their last encounter, but it had taken him a short while to piece together who 'Fidona' might have been— having met the young woman on two separate occasions in two separate forms had made doing so just a touch questionable, but thankfully, her hair had made her easy enough to place.]
text | un: lizzie
who's this?
no subject
[He doesn't ask if she remembers, if only because he always trusts himself to make a strong impression.]
More to the point, if my hypothesis is correct, you may also know me by another name.
no subject
Clearly, he's ready now.]
i do. and i'm fidona kisne.
[It's weird to see her Forest Name written out like that. She's not sure how she feels about it.
(Her dropping the Archadian "vas" may come off as pointed, but really it's just that she's forgotten about it. It's simply not how names work where she's from.]
if you're free, my roommates are both out. we can talk in private.
no subject
[Though he'll say no more of that over these devices, especially given the offer she'd just made.]
It would seem that we have a great deal to discuss. Privacy would be best.
no subject
[And Lizzie does exactly that, also taking the time to straighten up a bit. The treehouse is far from untidy--she just needs something to do with the nervous energy that's building while she waits for him to arrive. It's going to be an awkward conversation for both of them. A necessary one, but that fact doesn't make it any more comfortable.
When Balthier arrives, Lizzie calls him in. She's sitting at the table with her paissa familiar flopped over asleep at her feet. She can only figure it's trying to comfort her with what few brain cells it possesses, even if it's now in the way, so she leaves it be. Every now and again, it lets out a soft snore.]
no subject
[That appears to be that; he says nothing further by text, but quickly makes note of the address given to him and proceeds to make his way there. What he hopes to gain from this conversation, he's not entirely sure, but a part of him that he did his best not to share with anyone had been laid bare against his will— and, he's willing to bet, she hadn't wanted her given name to be public knowledge, either.
It seems only right that they clear the air and reach some kind of understanding.
When he arrives, it's with his rabbit-eared moogle familiar bouncing along behind him, standing on tip-toes every few steps to try and get a better look at her surroundings, wide-eyed and excited to be somewhere new. He gives her a fond smile before leaning down to gently drop his hand against the top of her head.]
Now, Lu, don't get too carried away and start touching things. We're guests.
[She nods eagerly in response, then quickly finds herself distracted as she examines the sleeping paissa from where she stands. Meanwhile, with Lizzie already seated, Balthier takes the seat opposite her, bowing his head by way of a greeting as he settles in.]
It would seem that regardless of whether we meant to, the two of us have found ourselves sharing secrets.
no subject
Lizzie smiles in response to Balthier's greeting, although it's more wry than anything else. She isn't sure what it is Balthier is looking for, even if she expected him to reach out to her, but she at least has an idea of what she wants to cover in this conversation.]
In a very uneven manner, yes. All you know of me is my Forest Name.
[The kettle whistles, so Lizzie gets up from the table to prepare their tea.]
The way I see things, it's only fair that I share the rest of it. So ask away: what is it you'd like to know about me?
no subject
As much as I appreciate the 'eye for an eye' approach, I would not have you share anything that you're not willing to otherwise.
[That said, he is curious.]
Should anything prove too personal, by all means, say so. Still, I do find myself wondering— what lead you to leave the forest? It is uncommon for Viera to do so in Ivalice as I know it, but certainly not unheard of. My partner is one such Viera, and as such, I know full well the weight of such a decision.
[Fran can never go back. Is it the same for the Viera of Lizzie's time?]
no subject
I promise not to get into anything too harrowing, then.
[It's a joke, mostly. Her history is fraught, certainly, but there's nothing that's entirely off-limits. It's also weirdly comforting to hear that he gets it, even if only by proxy. It saves her from having to explain the stakes involved in the decisions she's made.]
Before I answer your question, let me clear up a misunderstanding between us. My trip to Archades made clear that despite the similarities, we do not hail from the same star. I have no idea whether the fact that Ivalice exists in both places is a coincidence or some sort of divine...something, but they are not the same place. My star is a world called Hydaelyn.
[She pauses here, taking a moment to fuss with her tea and add a bit of sugar and cream to it.]
That said, Viera leaving the Wood on my star is also not common or done lightly. I left because I was angry, and that anger lost me my family and my people. I don't regret it, and I'm lucky that I found a new family in the company I keep these days, but... there are times where it still stings, a decade later. I suspect your Viera partner probably feels similarly.
[Lizzie realizes she hasn't quite answered his question yet, but she's getting there. Just because it's not off-limits doesn't mean is especially easy, either.]
no subject
I've spoken to a few others from Eorzea and had started to suspect as much— though the number of parallels between the two is quite uncanny.
[Curiouser and curiouser.]
Indeed, it was similar for Fran— continues to be, in fact, even half a century after her departure.
[She had left the forest behind before he was even born, and yet her sister still scorned him as though he had stolen her— as though Fran ever did anything that wasn't of her own choosing.]
Anger played a part, as well. There are those who find the way of the Wood to be stifling.
no subject
[Based on what Balthier's just said--half a century--viera as long-lived in his world as in hers.
Lizzie pauses, taking a sip of her tea before she finally gets to the actual story of why she left the Wood behind.]
I didn't realize how stifiling the Green Word was until the first time I happened upon an outsider. He was a Garlean deserter, a conscript who saw an opportunity to bolt and took it. He was hiding in the Wood, waiting for his platoon to give up the search and move on. I knew he wasn't supposed to be there, but something about the way he asked... nay, the way he begged me to let him stay swayed me.
[Her voice is uncharacteristically wistful, full of fondness and sorrow.]
He gave me his name--Siggurd--and for four days, I brought him food and listened to his stories of the world beyond the Wood. Of Garlemald, Eorzea, and Ala Mhigo. Of his family. I was transfixed.
On the fifth day, he was dead. Killed for daring to invade the sanctity of the Wood. [She says this with no small amount of disgust.] Who he was didn't matter. How much he'd suffered, how terrified he was, how all he wanted was to be free and see his wife and daughter again... it didn't matter. It's against the Green Word, and the Green Word is absolute.
I left the next day.
[Lizzie exhales slowly--she hasn't spoken of this in quite some time, and it doesn't get any easier each time she speaks of it. A decade isn't much time in a viera's life. In many ways, the wound is still fresh.]
On my star, viera who leave the Wood leave their names there. I haven't been Fidona since I left. I took on a new name when I arrived in Dalmasca, that of Siggurd's daughter, Lizbet. Lizzie.
no subject
I'm sure he appreciated your kindness more than even you know.
[A frightened, desperate man who wanted nothing more to survive and to get back to his family. Food and water would have meant the world on their own, but her company was also a balm, he's certain.]
An unfortunate way to have to learn about where one comes from. You chose your namesake well.
[It's quite touching, really.]
no subject
I just hope it was enough to make his last days happy.
[She presses her lips together tightly for a few moments to try and keep her composure, taking a deep breath and in out of her nose as she does so.]
I looked for the girl when I finally made it to his homeland, but memory of a man's memory of a young girl is a terrible way to find a grown woman. I just have to believe that whatever happened to her, she's all right.
It's a common enough story of sorrow caused by the Garlean Empire. It's why I... [She pauses, realizing that she needs to tread gently as she shifts the focus from herself to him.] It's why I find it so strange that I was a part to the Empire you know. But I guess it goes to show me that the people vary greatly within any country, even a boldly imperial one.
I'm guessing, based on who you are now, that you didn't stay. That, we have in common.
no subject
[He offers her a wry half-smile, quirked to one side, but it falters and doesn't last.]
Though I am loathe to speak in defense of the Archadian Empire, having been born into it, I can attest that not all who hail from such places are meant to be conquerors. There are people who do their best to live good lives there, as I am sure there are in your own Garlean Empire, as well, but what you saw—
[He gestures broadly with an open hand.]
That was the Archades I was most familiar with, for better or for worse.
[Largely, he feels, for worse.]
I left not long after that day. There was nothing worth staying for. I told myself I left in search of answers, but that was a falsehood, an attempt to trick myself into believing my goals had some merit. I ran, though one can never truly run far enough to escape something so persistent as the past.
no subject
[It's a good lesson, and one that Lizzie sometimes needs reminding of. The same can be said of herself, in a way--she, unlike her people, believes in a world beyond the Wood. And she's not the only one. No people are a monolith, as convenient as such thinking can be.
As for the rest of it... she doesn't like to think she ran, but it's not exactly an untrue way to describe what she did either. Perhaps the past will catch up to her, as well, despite not actively trying to conquer the world. It has her whole lifetime to.
It's not something she likes much to think about.]
I can hardly blame you for running, regardless of what you told yourself at the time. What was put upon you was nigh impossible to reconcile, especially given how young you were. Prodigy or not, you were a child.
[Sixteen is practically a baby, especially to the likes of her.]
I'll admit I'm curious as to the rest of your story, but it's not my place to ask or know. I only hope that you have, or will, be able to make peace with the past the follows you.
[The smile she gives him is largely mirthless, and filled with understanding.]
no subject
[He'd thought that perhaps he had reached an ending, that the Sky Fortress Bahamut would be his own personal epilogue, but he was grateful that had not been the case.]
I hope your path is kind to you, as well. It's not an easy one you've chosen, but having known viera who felt drawn to leave the wood, it would have been far more stifling to remain as they were. I'm sure you need no reassurance, but you chose what was right for you— you chose to honor your heart.
[He'll probably roll his eyes at himself later on when he thinks back on this, but for now, his words are certainly genuine. For all his protests otherwise, he knows a thing or two about sentimentality and being true to oneself.]
no subject
Not needing reassurance doesn't make it any less nice to hear. Thank you, Balthier.
My path has been difficult but worthwhile since I left. I've gathered a dear group of friends in my travels that are my family now. In the case of one of them, almost literally--his parents have sort of adopted me.
[Nevermind that she towers over both of Jojo's parents because they're lalafell. They love her as a daughter all the same.]
I can't say I'm without regrets, but I'm not unhappy with where I ended up either. If I can dare take a guess, it seems the same is true of you?
Given our respective histories, that's the best we can ask for.
no subject
[She's certainly not wrong, and a wry smile pulls at the corner of his lips as he gives a single nod of confirmation.]
Wishing I had done things differently is a waste, and had I done so, I think I might be someone else entirely— though certainly still leading man material, all the same.
[That was never negotiable, in his eyes.]
I think that for better or for worse, things have worked out as they ought. I like things as they are now— or as they were before I came here, more or less. You're right; there is little else we can hope for.
no subject
[Lizzie smiles, expression just as wry as his. She gets what he means on a very personal, intrinsic level. It's freeing, in a way, to have someone who understands without having it be explained. Unfortunate that it ended up being forced on his end, but perhaps he might find some solace in this as well. Chances are they'll never discuss this again, instead continuing on the unspoken agreement that each of them Gets It.
That's fine by her.
She holds up her teacup in a toast.]
Cheers to the both of us choosing who we wanted to be, for better and for worse.
no subject
Cheers. I'll drink to that.
[He offers her a wink across the table before drinking deep from his cup, setting it down a moment later to free up his hands to straighten his shirtcuffs.]
You know, I've always made such a fuss about keeping all of that hidden back home. Though this round of sharing may not have been entirely of our choosing, it is quite liberating.
no subject
[Lizzie's only told the whole story of her departure to Jojo, and he doesn't really have the sort of experience that leads one to understand what it means. Although he started integrating her into his own family soon thereafter, so maybe she just isn't giving the lalafell enough credit. Konana and Yuyuhan aren't quite her own parents, but they've become awfully close.]
If you ever require an ear, I have plenty to spare. And if you'd rather not speak of this again, that's equally agreeable. In either case, I suppose this has forced some semblance of friendship upon us.
We could do worse.